sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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