His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's the barista slut.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
