Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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