well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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