I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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