dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
