I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nutella sex= disaster
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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