I think I won the penis lottery.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
