What did we do last night that was yellow?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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