she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
