just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
