mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize