They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
