is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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