After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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