I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was confusing and full of hummus
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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