ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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