PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Someone came in the potted fern
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
