the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
