it was like eating out sand paper
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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