I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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