Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
