I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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