its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
