he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
