it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
