dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My cat gives me a boner
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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