I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize