Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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