Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
