I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
