Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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