I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
