you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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