Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
