Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
