I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
