i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
