I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
