Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
