that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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