escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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