I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dicks are not precious.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
