He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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