Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
