About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize