I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
where are my eyebrows?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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