btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
