There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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