I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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