I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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