Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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