What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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