He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
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Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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