i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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