is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
