Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
