Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
