Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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