Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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